Defending one’s point of view can be an effective means of persuading others. However, argumentativeness can also be a harmful trait. When arguing becomes toxic, it leads to confrontational behaviour and stubbornness. This can cause harm to relationships and career. Fortunately, there are ways to counteract this problem. The first step is to understand what being argumentative actually means.
The definition of argumentativeness is the tendency to aggressively defend one’s own viewpoint, even at the expense of others’ opinions. This is a common personality characteristic. In healthy situations, argumentativeness can be productive and help people to resolve differences in a constructive way. However, it can also be destructive and lead to conflict and aggression. The main concern with argumentativeness is that it can be interpreted as rudeness and disrespect. Moreover, it can cause people to become defensive and closed-minded.
An argument is a reasoned opinion supported by evidence. It can either be in favour of or against a subject. In written form, it can include a paragraph discussing different points of view on a topic as well as the thesis statement that reveals your stance. In order to make an argument valid, it should be based on facts, statistics, quotes from experts, and examples. It is important to recognize your own biases in an argument, but not let them cloud your judgement.
When arguing, it is essential to understand that your goal is to win an argument, not to be right. If you are unable to accept that someone else has a different point of view, you will be unsuccessful in convincing your audience that your position is the correct one. The best way to do this is to listen and consider the other person’s point of view before responding.
Habitual ‘argument stokers’ often have strong narcissistic tendencies and lack insight into how their behaviour affects others. Often they have poor boundaries and will argue over anything from trivial issues to serious problems. They can be very hard to work with, as they cannot tolerate others having a different view or opinion.
If you struggle with this type of personality, it can be helpful to seek professional help from a counsellor. They can help you to explore the deeper reasons behind your need for arguments and confrontations and teach you strategies to manage these traits more effectively. Ultimately, your counsellor will aim to assist you in developing real self-worth and a sense of confidence that doesn’t have to come from winning an argument. This can help you to let go of your need for argumentativeness and replace it with something more productive and positive. This can be a difficult task, but it is worth the effort. Eventually, you will find that your need for argumentativeness will diminish and you can focus on building a healthy and happy life. Good luck!